Conversations on Motherhood
DISCOURSE
“We don’t make mistakes, we learn lessons; each experience leaves you richer.”
This Mother’s Day I wanted to dive into past, present and future with the two women who have been immovable guiding forces for me throughout my life. I’ve always wanted to have a candid conversation with my Mother and Grandmother [Aji], but never have until now. Bonds of all kinds will inevitably develop, evolve, dissipate, and strengthen within our lifetime. Each passing day is an opportunity to build, resurrect, and reinforce the relationships we are fortunate enough to have.
The moments and expressed sentiments shared between us that afternoon were too special not to record. Spoken partially in our mother tongue [Gujarati], I’ve transcribed our loving exchange in English to share with you all today. I hope to have many more conversations like this while we’re still afforded this time together. Thank you to each and every mother figure I’ve had the privilege to know, and am yet to know – Happy Mother’s Day.
– Karishma P.
Founder & Creative Director
Karishma: What has motherhood taught you?
Manjula: Becoming a mother made me so happy. It gave me a true sense of fulfilment and purpose. I genuinely love to do things for my children and grandchildren, my love for my family is [boundless].
Mamta: Motherhood has taught me about adaptability. As the eldest of five I’ve always known and understood what it means to be responsible for others, but when I became a mother I learned how to become malleable for others. To be able to adapt to whatever life throws at you, and learning the true meaning of balance. I felt that becoming a mother ushered me into true womanhood. There are so many different levels of maturity – your physical form, your mental disposition, your emotional capability. I felt like a true creator, and in turn that transformed me. You also continue to grow as your child grows.
Karishma: I love that. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned from your mother?
Manjula: My mother and I were not particularly close, we never shared intimate or affectionate moments, and she never [overtly imparted] any wisdom to me. Instead she gave me the tools to become a mother through conditioning and duties. I learned responsibility from her – I learned how to cook, how to care for others, how to manage a home; all the expectations and pressures I would face as a new wife and mother. She prepared me for what my life was to become through responsibility.
Mamta: Growing up Aji and I weren’t very close either. She had four other children and a household to look after. It wasn’t until I became a mother that we really bonded. After you were born she stayed with us, and for the first time in my life I had her undivided attention. She was nurturing me, while teaching me how to nurture you. She taught me all about our traditions and why we do them. Things like massaging you with oil everyday, how to give you a bath properly, old home remedies for when you had a cold or when you were colicky. You were the factor that bonded us.
Karishma: That is so sweet Mom, you literally learned how to be a mother with your mother at your side.
Mamta: Yes! It was imbibed – the way Aji has always looked after her children and everyone around her was the blueprint for me. Her courage, her resilience, and her hard work never went unnoticed. You just kind of do it for your child, no questions asked… and that also made me genuinely happy.
Manjula: Your Mom had to grow up really fast, and I gave her so much housework and cooking to do at such a young age. I needed her help because I didn’t have any, and I’m forever grateful for that.
Mamta: Growing up I was her aid more than her daughter, I definitely didn’t get the attention I was looking for as a child. But as we’ve both grown and entered different stages of life we’ve become so much closer. I’ve seen all the things she’s endured in her life, and as an adult I understand why she didn’t have the capacity for me in these moments. But over time our bond has become so strong, and so much sweeter.
“It happens naturally out of necessity. You get to a point where you have no choice but to meditate on peace, forgive, and take moments for yourself each day.”
Karishma: That’s really special. Ever since I could remember I’ve always felt a deep, unexplainable connection between the three of us, and I’m definitely understanding it so much better now.
Mamta: So what about you? What have you learned from us? 28 years worth of observations and moments to reflect on.
Karishma: [Laughs]. There are so many lessons I’ve learned through you both – you are the two most important maternal figures in my life. From Aji, I’ve definitely learned patience and resilience. Aji’s the most resilient person I know. I don’t know how she’s endured everything that she has and still continues to move through life with such love and grace. She’s taught me what true unconditional love looks and feels like. It’s who she is; she embodies that. I don’t know anyone else in the world who loves this unconditionally. She even selflessly extends that to the people who have wronged her, and I don’t think it’s for them – I think it’s for her. I know her daily practices are so intentional and they’re integral to her ability to let go of anger and resentment. She has an immovable positivity which overrides pain.
Mamta: She does. Mom, where do you get your Shakti [divine feminine power] from?
Manjula: The Goddess Mother. I always ask her to give me strength, to give me Shakti. Ma will always protect me and my family. I ask that you all have the same Shakti that I have. I pray and [transmit] that to you.
Karishma: I feel like I have so many more questions. Aji, I really need to know how you’re able to channel that energy and find that peace within yourself.
Manjula: It happens naturally out of necessity. You get to a point where you have no choice but to meditate on peace, forgive, and take moments for yourself each day. I do it when I pray each morning, and I pray for you.
Karishma: I love you.
Manjula: I love you too, beta.
Karishma: Mom – I definitely continue to learn new things from you everyday but what really stays with me is practising discernment and pragmatism; and that I should trust myself more. Anytime something “bad” happens and I share the experience with you, you always give me this look that reads “you knew all along this could have happened, you just didn’t trust yourself enough to detach from it”. I think because I’m such a free-spirited person who tends to run a little wild, I haven’t always listened to my internal compass enough. I definitely have a proclivity to flow organically and experience things to the fullest degree, but that can also leave you facing some hard truths. I’m realizing how important these moments are for personal growth. We don’t make mistakes, we learn lessons; each experience leaves you richer. It’s all helped me listen more intently to my intuition – because she’s never wrong.
Mamta: She does. Mom, where do you get your Shakti [divine feminine power] from?
Manjula: The Goddess Mother. I always ask her to give me strength, to give me Shakti. Ma will always protect me and my family. I ask that you all have the same Shakti that I have. I pray and [transmit] that to you.
Karishma: I feel like I have so many more questions. Aji, I really need to know how you’re able to channel that energy and find that peace within yourself.
Manjula: It happens naturally out of necessity. You get to a point where you have no choice but to meditate on peace, forgive, and take moments for yourself each day. I do it when I pray each morning, and I pray for you.
Karishma: I love you.
Manjula: I love you too, beta.
Karishma: Mom – I definitely continue to learn new things from you everyday but what really stays with me is practising discernment and pragmatism; and that I should trust myself more. Anytime something “bad” happens and I share the experience with you, you always give me this look that reads “you knew all along this could have happened, you just didn’t trust yourself enough to detach from it”. I think because I’m such a free-spirited person who tends to run a little wild, I haven’t always listened to my internal compass enough. I definitely have a proclivity to flow organically and experience things to the fullest degree, but that can also leave you facing some hard truths. I’m realizing how important these moments are for personal growth. We don’t make mistakes, we learn lessons; each experience leaves you richer. It’s all helped me listen more intently to my intuition – because she’s never wrong.
Mamta: Knowing when to remove yourself from situations is really important. You have to gather your own tools; through time and experience they will sharpen. You’re a trailblazer, you know what’s best for you. If you’re willing to put your intention in the right place, you’re always going to come out the other end stronger and wiser.
Karishma: For sure. I think life would be pretty boring without the hard lessons. Things can’t be too easy, and the waters can’t be too calm – we need a little turbulence to grow.
Mamta: That’s true. It’s all about perspective – it’s equally important to not fixate on the negative for too long. One area of your life might not be great right now, but you have to focus on what’s working.
Karishma: Yeah, it’s really about zooming out.
Mamta: Exactly, it makes everything so much more manageable. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to face adversity. Your energy and your vibration are also at a higher level when you do this. You’ll attract people who are on the same frequency as you, and they’ll be the ones to keep.
Karishma: Dropping gems, Mom.
Mamta: Knowing when to remove yourself from situations is really important. You have to gather your own tools; through time and experience they will sharpen. You’re a trailblazer, you know what’s best for you. If you’re willing to put your intention in the right place, you’re always going to come out the other end stronger and wiser.
Karishma: For sure. I think life would be pretty boring without the hard lessons. Things can’t be too easy, and the waters can’t be too calm – we need a little turbulence to grow.
Mamta: That’s true. It’s all about perspective – it’s equally important to not fixate on the negative for too long. One area of your life might not be great right now, but you have to focus on what’s working.
Karishma: Yeah, it’s really about zooming out.
Mamta: Exactly, it makes everything so much more manageable. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to face adversity. Your energy and your vibration are also at a higher level when you do this. You’ll attract people who are on the same frequency as you, and they’ll be the ones to keep.
Karishma: Dropping gems, Mom.
Mamta: And equally, you learn so much from your children! I’ve learned so much from you. You’ve given me a whole new perspective on life through your experiences, and imparted such amazing advice to me when I’ve needed it most. Now I look at you more as my friend than my daughter. I recognize that we’re learning things together now that we’re both adults.
Karishma: Definitely, we have a whole new dynamic now.
Mamta: And I love it. I love that all three of us have this new dynamic. A lot has changed since that tiny apartment we were all in 28 years ago. I’m excited about the future, and I’m excited to pass everything I’ve learned on to you when the time comes.
Mamta: And equally, you learn so much from your children! I’ve learned so much from you. You’ve given me a whole new perspective on life through your experiences, and imparted such amazing advice to me when I’ve needed it most. Now I look at you more as my friend than my daughter. I recognize that we’re learning things together now that we’re both adults.
Karishma: Definitely, we have a whole new dynamic now.
Mamta: And I love it. I love that all three of us have this new dynamic. A lot has changed since that tiny apartment we were all in 28 years ago. I’m excited about the future, and I’m excited to pass everything I’ve learned on to you when the time comes.
